It Would Be Easy To Arrange A Toddler Marriage
I'm not saying I'm going to; I'm just saying I could
Toddlers are an enigma. Sometimes when he is tired, he will just want to cuddle up and have a book read, while other times, he will literally start sprinting around and become an agent of pure chaos. Sometimes my son can be the sweetest boy in the world, and there are other times where I am convinced that he has been possessed by a demon. At times, he is a complicated beast that is completely uncontrollable, but other times, he is easily manipulated, and it’s easy to trick him into doing exactly what I want.
Needless to say, he keeps me on my toes.
But one area where I am convinced that I can control him is in setting him up with a potential life partner. He’s such a simple being that I could easily guide him into a marriage by the time he turns three.
This has become evident since he has moved into a room with three and four-year-olds. It isn’t the age that is a big deal, but the fact that our old home daycare provider has a daughter that is in that class is the real difference maker. I have no idea if he remembers this girl since he was only there from the age of 2 months-12 months, but what’s important is that the parents remember, and to be totally honest, this is something that is almost exclusively being pushed by the Mommies.
It was very nice when our son made the transition as the girl’s mother made sure to let her daughter know to be nice to him. I don’t know what was told to her beyond that, but she did welcome him into the new class which was good for him as he wasn’t great at interacting with two-year-olds. And with that, my wife would always ask about how his classmates were doing before specifically mentioning that one single girl to ask how she was doing. If she got any sort of story, she would beam with pride as she was ecstatic that they were friends. Of course, my son would feed off this and realize that it is a good thing to be friends with this girl.
This has evolved. When I picked him up from his classroom, he would always say bye to his classmates, so first he would go, “Bye, friends,” before dropping a specific goodbye and big wave to that one girl. To be honest, it came across as a tad desperate, but in an incredibly cute and endearing way.
But this is all it really takes. Just bring up a person, act excited when they talk about said person, and as long as that person shows even the tiniest bit of kindness, then it’s good to go. It would be easy to set up this marriage if we had the other parents on board. Oh, and I guess also if I wanted my child being married before being fully potty trained.
Obviously, as we get older, we become a tad more selective in potential partners. We take into account far more factors when looking for romance. I mean, yeah, if a girl was nice to me in elementary, I would have developed a crush and would have easily agreed to a marriage. Junior High? Same. High School? Yeah, then too. College? Oh, for sure in college. Full-grown adult? Yep, it’s basically that my wife was too nice to me, and I got attached and wouldn’t let her go.
So maybe this isn’t indicative of anything in toddlers and is more indicative that my son comes from a simple-minded people. I mean, the guy is fighting an uphill battle as he is from a long lineage of males who have no idea how to pursue potential partners.
Our only hope is that he got his romance gene from his Mom, because if not, we may regret not arranging a marriage while he was in his prime (toddler) years.