My child has brought me enormous joy. He's a real treat to be around, and I'm so happy he's in my life. I love him so much. That being said, sometimes the little dude needs to be put in his place, and luckily I have watched and participated enough in the fighting arts to know the tricks of the trade when physically dominating all 20 pounds of him. Now I'm willing to show you my secrets.
First off, let's start with a leg lace, most commonly used in freestyle wrestling. Here's a video to show you the proper technique.
Once you cross those legs, your child will be in real trouble. One of the subtle items is grabbing onto that calf to maintain your grip. You may be wondering why you need to know this, but when a child doesn't want their diaper changed, you're going to have to control their body to prevent them from rolling over to their stomach. My child is an expert at bridging off his head, because he knows he can't let his shoulders touch the ground as he never wants to be pinned, so I use this to elevate his legs and keep him on his back. You can't let a squirmy child get to their stomach as then they can quickly escape. The leg lace keeps you in control.
Next up is a body triangle which is going to be used in jiu jitsu and mixed martial arts. It's a great way to control your opponent's torso while keeping your arms free.
Most often, I'm going to use this position of control to put a shirt on the guy. I will say the leg lace is more of a fun competition that where we push each other to be better, but the little man does NOT enjoy the body triangle as he knows that he is stuck, and I have shown my absolute physical dominance. I never do this with his Mommy around since you never want to embarrass a man in front of his #1 girl, but I definitely brag to his Mommy about it behind closed doors.
Finally, let's go over a classic blast double leg. No need for an instructional, let's just see it used well.
He’s usually not swinging that level of haymakers my way, but it’s good to be prepared for anything. What is the practical use for this? None, really, it's just really fun to change levels on your child and take them out. Little man gets a big kick out of it too so it's fun for the whole family.
You can't be a great parent if you can't fight your child. That's just a fact.