Like all parents, I have dreams for my child. I want him to be happy, successful, and most importantly, a certifiable Pickup Artist (PUA). I mean, think of how proud all of these parents must be of their children.
Clearly, a job well done by all of those parents.
But becoming a pickup artist is not a switch that you can flip and suddenly have all the tools necessary in order to seduce an HB10 (HB stands for Hot Babe, obviously. 10 is for their rating on the looks scale, because all seduction targets must be reduced to a number instead of being treated like an actual human being). You have to work on your craft, attaining skills gradually until you are a Master PUA.
How proud I was when I saw my son develop his first PUA skill. Negging.
What's that you say? You're a well-adjusted adult and don't know what any of these terms mean, especially negging? Well, LA-DI-DA, Mr. and/or Ms. Fancypants. Negging is most simply described as a backhanded compliment but it borders on outright insult. A good one might be, "I love your sweater, did you get it at Goodwill?"
Anyway, my son is very interested in meeting people. He'll introduce himself, and then he will often follow it up with, "And his/her name is..." He really holds onto the s in is and drags that sound out. And since he's 2, he's always introducing himself to older people, so it's adorable.
So, my man saw some older ladies (4 and 6, respectively) that caught his eye and decided that he wanted to open up a conversation. He proudly states his name to introduce himself, goes up to the younger one and says, "and her name is..." Once he gets to the older one, he gets incredibly close to her and says, "and his name is..." The girl was both stunned and offended. She tried to correct him by emphatically stating "NO, HER NAME," which just showed that he had pulled one over on her. She may have not known it yet, but she was already enamored with my little PUA.
On top of that, he has started asking for us to put a ponytail in his hair (it's more of a man bun that is located in the middle of the top of his head), so peacocking is right around the corner.
I'm so proud.