With my son reaching the stage where he has turned into a parrot and will repeat back to me whatever I started or ended my sentence with, I have to think about what I am actually saying around him. No longer can I threaten him and use super cool adult words without a second thought. So it brings me to what should be an easy question, but one that I think about with far too much care: Should I teach my child cuss words?
The biggest con is that society seems to have taught us that cussing is bad, but I've never really been one for the status quo. Cussing has its place in this world. Like, if you see Mitch McConnell out and about, you should definitely cuss him out until he feels so uncomfortable and flees the situation. That is indisputably a good use of cussing. And I have to admit that if a two-year-old was doing it, that would be pretty awesome.
Wait, this was supposed to be cons. Um, hum, cons, cons, cons? I guess people will think less of your child, and it could prevent him from getting academic opportunities. That is a valid con. And even though I see the value of cuss words, it's hard to explain their power to a young child. Also, my son likes to beat things into the ground, and over cussing is weak. You have to pick your spots, and although he is quite mature, he might not fully grasp the power of a well-placed cuss word as opposed to just using them like a machine gun.
I was definitely not allowed to cuss as a young child. But then I went to public school in sixth grade, and my eyes were opened.
That's when I met a guy who was unlike anyone I had come across before in my life. This guy didn't cuss like an adult; he cussed so much more than an adult. At that point in my sheltered life, I didn't even know kids had the physical capability to use cuss words. MY MIND WAS BLOWN. Hearing this 11-year-old cuss like a sailor was incredibly awesome. It also helped that he was probably the best athlete in our sixth grade class, which is the equivalent of backing up the cussing. If I'm being objective, this sixth grader may have been the coolest guy I have ever known in my life (I measure coolness like it's sabermetrics, so it's age-dependent, Coolness against Replacement Level Sixth Grader. It's the only valid way to objectively measure against various age groups of cool).
I mean, I really want my kid to be cool, so maybe teaching him how to cuss is a shortcut for success? The issue is he at least has some of my genetics, which makes it unlikely he'll have the athletic prowess to back it up (still praying for my wife's genetics in every aspect of coordination).
So it really comes down to being cool versus being given opportunities to increase his likelihood of life-long success?
I was 100% ready to let my kid be cool, but I failed to factor in one aspect. Even if I wanted to teach him cuss words, my wife won't let me. Sorry, son. Looks like you'll live a life without offensive language and just have to settle for a life of happiness and success instead.