The Journey Is More Important than the Destination
Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it
During my last Single Dad Weekend, I had the strategy of constant stimulation. If he can’t get bored, he can’t get fussy. If he can’t get fussy, he can’t raise hell to the fullest extent. We packed a lot in, but we also didn’t do that much when you really break it down. It was usually two things in the morning, both lasting 60-90 minutes, one similar adventure in the afternoon, and then a walk before bath and bed.
Even in the most generous interpretations, we’re doing less than five hours of actual activity, but it filled up his day, and neither of us had time to get stressed with boredom. That’s when I realized that the journey is more important than the destination.
Instead of doing activities from home, we went places to do activities. We’d drive 15-20 minutes no matter what activity we were doing. Instead of just having the time at the park, the duration of the run, or the activities at the aquarium, we also built about 45 minutes into our journey to our adventures. That math may not make a lot of sense, but it might be conservative considering the time that it takes to get a child ready, get him to the vehicle, get him strapped into the vehicle, make sure you’ve loaded the vehicle with everything you need, and then driving.
The drive it its own adventure. We get to cruise around town as he checks out the sights and sounds of the city. On our way back, I saw a guy on a tricycle wearing a Justin Fields jersey who were playing the Bucs later that day. I knew it was a sign for my beloved Bears. It turned out to be true as it was a sign of terrible things to come. Even just an aimless walk or run is an opportunity to see something, sometimes it’s along the water, sometimes it’s to see if downtown is hopping at 6 AM (it never is).
That means if I go three separate places, I spend over two hours in travel. And you could say I’m wasting time, but we chat in the car, and he points out different things he sees, but he’s strapped in so he can’t cause much trouble. You add on nightly walks with him in the stroller where we just enjoy nature and all of the things we see on the way. We may not be doing much, but we’re together. Sure, the library is good. The parks are great. And the aquarium is legitimately awesome. But the journey ain’t too bad either.
There may be a larger lesson about parenting there, but it’s a much longer journey before I make it to that destination.