Well, it’s already started. My sweet boy has become a sinner. I mean, sure, his sins have been going on for a while now. He follows the important ones; it’s not like he’s committing adultery or murdering people (as far as I know). But the one about wanting your neighbor’s goods? Yeah, he does that every time a child has any toy. It doesn’t even have to be a good one. He just wants all the things. But I’ve been able to overlook that one for a while. But recently, he’s stepped up his sinning game and started using the lord’s name in vain. There’s only one man in his life to blame, and it’s definitely not me. This one falls squarely on the shoulders of Iowa’s offensive coordinator, Brian Ferentz.
It was shocking when I first heard it, but my son speaks well so it was clear as day. I don’t even remember what happened, I just know it was something loud and unexpected, but his response will stick with me forever. Loud, clear, and intentional, he simply said, “JE-SUS.” This was not in praise of the lord’s first son (we still can’t be sure whether David Koresh was telling the truth), but instead, he made a declaration of desperation, exasperation, and anger. I knew the sentiment before I knew where he had heard the word. Those same feelings are what haunt me when watching Iowa Hawkeyes football. It was only after that that I realized he had heard the good lord’s name from my mouth.
I’ve actually done a fairly good job of not cussing in front of my child. Do I let one slip from time to time? Of course, and to be honest, I’m not all that worried about cussing. But saying fuck, bullshit, or fucking bullshit is much different. God smiles down as we cuss in that form, but that smile turns into a frown when we use his son’s name in vain (again, referring to Jesus, not sure how he feels about Koresh). And I know what many of you may be thinking, “Maybe you shouldn’t yell ‘Oh, Jesus’ at the television when watching Iowa football.” Well, maybe, just maybe, Iowa should score some god damned points every now and then so I wouldn’t have to. And I checked with the big man upstairs, and even he agreed that this is an acceptable use of his name in vain.
There are many reasons that Iowa football needs to make a change with their coaching staff (nepotism, poor performance, rampant racism, etc.), but is there any reason more important than the continued employment of this staff is sending my sweet, 3.5 year-old boy, down a path of sin and who knows what else? It’s time for Iowa to take responsibility for their actions. I mean, if I had anything, and I mean anything to do with my son sinning, I would take blame and make a change. It’s time for Iowa to do the same. The future of our youth depends on it.