My son is a biter. That’s not ideal, but it’s also not the worst thing in the world. He rarely has bitten another child (less than a handful of times), but adults are another story. He’ll bite the shit out of an adult, and there is no adult he loves biting more than me.
Some Dads would be offended by this, but I take it as the highest compliment. He clearly sees me as the alpha of the house, and he wants to usurp my position to try to take over. That means that he will stoop to unruly behavior in order to try to take me out. Lesser opponents, like other children, rarely show up on his radar, but with Dad, he is my little biting machine.
Still, this is not something I enjoy. The tiny toothmarks are not badges of honor. No chicks are checking out the marks on my wrist and getting envious that they can’t get a man like that. No dude is looking at the wounds and giving me space because they know I’m a certified badass. They serve no purpose, but they sure hurt like hell in the moment.
Despite all that, I’m going to defend my son’s actions. I think he’s kind of justified in his behavior. Don’t get me wrong; I would way rather he found an alternative way to show his displeasure, but it’s kind of tough when you are only two-years-old, and you are as mad as a hornet. He speaks incredibly well for his age, but he does kind of throw that out the window when the frustration builds up, but isn’t that fair? I mean, if Shaquille O’Neal picked me up and took me somewhere I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t be able to stop him. He’s over twice my size, and he’s way stronger and tougher than me. If he threw me over his shoulder, I’d be kicking, screaming, and if it came down to it, biting might sound like a decent option. Now, since I’m an experienced tough guy, I would definitely gouge eyes as it’s a way more effective strategy, but I don’t want my son to learn that one.
What I’m saying is I get it. In the heat of the moment, biting does seem like the best option. But we have been working with him, and he’s getting better. He’s starting to squeeze more, scream more, but bite less, so it’s progress.
Once he can control his emotions, I’ll teach him the value of eye gouging and more effective fighting techniques. And Shaq, don’t get any wise ideas. At my height, I’m not above groin strikes.